Writers Block
meg_mm_62791
 Do you remember your first crush? Did you ever tell that person about your feelings?


ah yes, i do. vaguely. it has changed much throughout the years as ii have changed. settled on a few i guess. a crush is sometimes left as just that, amazing, beautiful, and untouchable.no matter how close they are. so, no, sadly i haven't told them. and never will. i don't ever ever make a first move, on anyone. love and lust are both very delicate, and love often starts as lust, a burning desire to be with someone. not always for sexual reasons, but for companionship, to then find that your mindset changes, as you begin to understand what love means and feels like.its a very slow process, but it comes, and does with all of us who loose our lusty arrogance to open our minds and hearts to learning what to truly do with a crush, a friend, or yes, even a lover.  

sometimes......
meg_mm_62791
sometimes i wanna scream
drop everything and run away
hide in the bushes for no one to see
why cant it be enough for me just to be me?
boring at times
not the prettiest flower in the garden
and certainly not flawless.
 
but why cant someone
just one person
see me as something besides a screwup?
 
why cant they just see me?

walls.
meg_mm_62791
 this feeling
this weird thing
pushing me away
or
is it pushing me closer?
closer to what?
that wall i keep hitting?
whats on the other side of that wall? 
i want to know
but
in another way
im afraid to find out
is the wall brick?
i can hatchet my way out
one brick at a time...
so easily...
but whats on the other side?
mabye its a cliff
a cliff that i will jump off
and plummit to a crude
death below
or mabye..
its a grassy field
and ill finally feel free
to frolic
run and jump
hand in hand
with someone special
land in the grass
next to her
and gaze aimlessly at the clouds
forever.
can i get past this? 
this pain
extreme pain
and fear.
is that why i cant?
tear the walls down?
board by board
pull the nails
vannish them into thin
air


but...
what if this wall
is me?
can i tear myself down enough to cross?
to my death?
or
to my freedom?
Tags: , ,

to my friend
meg_mm_62791
[a poem to my friend who somehow manages to save me, just a little bit, every day. <3 your the greatest.parts are hypothetical, but the words are powerful in my mind nonetheless.]



 your hands
bind my wrists
meeting my gaze
a powerful stare
of wild caring
and concern
my stare
of shock
invisible to you
my eyes wander
away from your fierceness
yet again
always
again.
watching
waiting
i make my move
frozen lips of mine
meeting yours
farther away, this time
pressing
you know
im here
im listening this
time.
your arms surround me
making me think
again
make me
ponder
what is right?
and wrong?
feeling the pressure
torturing my thoughts
mind
soul.
away again
i move
deeper.
flesh scarred
open
and bleeding
the weight
unbearable
yet your eyes
remain calm
and okay.
unnerving thoughts
vanish
as you tell me stories
of what once was
and push me
to think
of what
could be.
thank you
to my friend
for all you've done.
Tags:

(no subject)
meg_mm_62791
MIND. BLANK.


too upset to...think
Tags:

powerful....
meg_mm_62791
 ive been getting alot of compliments on my work lately...might encourage me to write more =P

as some of you know im in a fairly depressive dark state lately....so the work is reflecting my powerful feelings...




feel the room
slip away
floors collapse
the room closes in
you feel the burning
want to scratch the itch
you fight
you hope the burning desire will end
it doesn't
as you push off the floor
or the wall
wherever you may be
hands down
fighting.

the itch gets stronger
your closer to skin
feel that metallic gold
between your fingers
smashing
slashing
cutting flesh
muscle
bone.
the sky falls
pushing you down
darkness engulfs
consumes you
feels you
leaves you cold
shivering wet
alone.
trapped.
are you tripping? in your own head?
or is your trip...
real?

dont. [Part Two]
meg_mm_62791
Walk Away
Hit My Knees
Feel The Tears
Crash To The Ground
Find A Blade
Meets My Skin
In A Fury
Of Blind
Rage
Slashing
Ripping
Burning
Crimson Creeping
Running
Dripping
From My Flesh
Much Like
A Waterfall In March
As Snow Melts Into It
Im Melting
Dripping..
Falling...
Dropping....
As Landscape Falls Away
I Hit The Ground
So Much Blood...
So Much...
So...
Blackness Engulfs Me...
Dont Wake Me...
I Am Home...
Finally...

Dont...
meg_mm_62791
dont look at me
dont speak to me
just let me be
let me be me
go away
back off
please dont yell
i didnt mean...
didnt mean to do wrong..
oh so wrong
tear my heart out
please dont
have mercy
raise your arm
narrow your eyes
no
please no
i watch
slow motion
your armed hand falls
i feel it strike
sting
burn
my neck
back
face
eyes
well up with tears
i see your hand rise
once more
my face swelling from the last
i shut my eyes.
stay up
dont fall
take the hits
dont show
the pain
every hit
raises rage
burning
stinging
broiling
hate.
i want to hurt
the hits arent enough
i need to hurt.
these hits dont mean nothing.

life is a ......
meg_mm_62791
Life is a flower

blossoming

blooming

opening some days

closing others

feeling

feeding

nurturing

and caring

beautiful in the sun

withstanding storms

and then plucked

to create

a

smile.

to Her. i just wish somehow, she understood
meg_mm_62791

So I'm thinking we should maybe just run away from here.
With no plan of coming back.
We can stay away forever, our anguished love will be all we have.
And I will save your life.
It's happening again, it's happening again.
I won't watch you die.
It's happening again, it's happening again.

I can see it's not the first time you have come and taken her from me.
Rest assured it's not the last time, I'm going to set you free.
You took her once, shame on you.
You took her twice, shame on me.

Whisper softly and tell me you love me.
I'm losing you, I don't know what to do.
Please forgive me and know that I am sorry.
I'm losing you, I don't know what to do.
Trapped inside a memory, I'm falling apart.

Do you realize it's over?
There's no chance of leaving here alive.
You don't realize what you're saying, without me you can't survive.
You took her once, shame on you.
You took her twice, shame on me.

Whisper softly and tell me you love me.
I'm losing you, I don't know what to do.
Please forgive me and know that I am sorry.
I'm losing you, I don't know what to do.
Trapped inside a memory, I've lost it all.

I'm falling apart, you've ripped out my heart.
I'm falling apart, I don't know where to start.
I don't want to go, it's happening again, it's happening again
But I can't let it show, I'll be with her again, together till the end.
If I have to go, it's happening again, it's happening again
I'll be damned if I'm alone, I'll be with her again.

Whisper softly and tell me you love me.
I'm losing you, I don't know what to do.
Please forgive me and know that I am sorry.
I'm losing you, I don't know what to do.
Trapped inside a memory, I'm falling apart.
I've lost it all.

?

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